I have been blessed recently to be reading Job (or rather having my phone read it to me- so much easier sometimes) and have come to the conclusion that there is a lot in this book about our response to grief. When Job lost everything (literally – he lost his children his livestock, his crops, and then his health), his friends rallied around him and seeing the depth of his despair, they said nothing and just sat with him and shared his grief.
Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this adversity that had come upon him, they came each one from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite; and they made an appointment together to come to sympathize with him and comfort him. When they lifted up their eyes at a distance and did not recognize him, they raised their voices and wept. And each of them tore his robe and they threw dust over their heads toward the sky. Then they sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great. (Job 2:11-13, NASB)
SEVEN DAYS they sat with him and just shared in his grief! How amazing an example this is to us. When we are faced with someone else’s grief we often want to fix it, to be profound in what we say, to make a difference in the midst of the grief, as if we need to do something, or as if we can fix it. What we need to do is to be – just be. We can be a strength for our families and friends without having to use speech… but then again, how many of us are comfortable with silence? Sometimes we are so uncomfortable with silence that we will do anything to fill that silence.
Saint Francis of Assisi is credited with the statement: ‘Preach the gospel. If necessary, use words.’ This means that our actions are MORE important than our words. Words are an augmentation to our actions only.
What do your actions say to others around you, especially when one is suffering?
In His love – Teresa

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